When God's Will Isn't What I Wanted

It’s a busy time of year, anxiety, stress, and the overwhelming feeling of a “to-do” list longer than the want to list isn’t helping anyone. It’s easy to become complacent and enjoy the way life is going right in that moment. It’s easy to look at your life and think of all the things you have accomplished. It’s easy to be proud of yourself for those “great” things you have done. It’s easy to do those things when life is easy, but what about when life isn’t so “rainbows and roses”?

I am a big advocate of constant communication with God. I attempt to get into the Word every day and journal my thoughts and specifically my prayers. Lately I have been “too busy” to really get into my quiet times. If I did sit down and do it, it was very mechanical and not in the least relational. But this is my Father, this is my Shepard, my Comforter, but I felt so distant I didn’t even want to take time to talk to Him about it. Instead I harbored negative feelings until it turned into full-fledged anger.

It was a relief to admit how angry I had been. I began to cry and then I collected myself and I immediately felt better.

I was angry, why? I began to walk through it, in communion with God. See the past several months I have been praying specific prayers, the desires of my heart, and now in the time when it should be looking like life should go my way, and I’m getting a not so desired answer.

I was struggling, I was angry, I couldn’t understand how this outcome could possibly be in God’s plan for me. There I go again, writing my own story, deciding what’s best for me.

In my study this morning was Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, but prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Woah, reality check. Do not worry, do not be anxious, and do not fear. God is bigger, God is all-knowing, and God is all-powerful. He is the beginning and the end. He is Father, Comforter, Counselor, and Keeper. Why would I want anyone else to guide my path? The verse goes on in 4:7 to say, “And the Peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds.”

I want to be the best that I can be, as a daughter, as a girlfriend, as a future wife, as a future mother, as a student, as an employee, but I can’t let my own selfish pride, or my own fears or anxieties get in the way of GOD’s will for my life. Ultimately I am a servant of Christ Jesus and by starting there first the rest will fall into place.

So whatever you are struggling with surrender, admit to the feeling or the action, let the Great Comforter show you His great love. Make the decision to follow his Will and go forward with a Joy in your heart that even in the unfavorable circumstances you are still a servant of the Great Commissioner, no matter where your mission field is.

-Simply Jordan