The first dating season in my life was when I entered a promise (read “The Promise” below) when I was beginning high school after going through dating and relationship classes at church. I knew without a doubt that I wanted to save myself for one man. I took it to the extreme and even saved my first kiss for the special someone who would change my world. I wore a ring to symbolize my promise, it was in the shape of a “lovers knot” or “square knot”. It is two separate loops tied together in a form that if either side is pulled the knot will only get tighter. Like my promise if I was ever “tempted” or felt like I couldn’t continue the “knot” or “promise” would only get tighter.
Then everything changed when I met “The One” he asked a
question and I took off my Promise Ring and entered an Engagement season. There
were three diamonds, one for me, one for him, and one for God in the middle.
Although I didn’t pick out my engagement ring my, then, fiancé knew I would
love it and he told me the symbolism in it. The engagement didn’t last because
it simply wasn’t meant to be as cliché as that sounds (read “Unconditional Love”
below). So I took off my engagement ring and entered a season of bareness. I
was raw and bare for the world and before my God.
For close to a month I wore no jewelry, ESPECIALLY no ring.
And let’s be clear I had worn a ring on my left ring finger for 8 years. This
was an important season for me and my process of healing over the broken
engagement, and finding me in this life again. I had to find my identity in
myself and in God. I had lots of question: How do I wear my hair? What about
makeup? Did I used to do this before him? What do I wear? Did I do this for me,
or for him? Who am I? What am I supposed to do now? You don’t realize how much
your life begins to form around and for someone else until one day when you
wake up and they are no longer there.
After the breakup I went home and my mother had set out my promise
ring, the same ring I had worn for so long. It was so innocent and so full of
hopes and dreams and promises that are no longer relevant for my life after the
breakup. I placed the ring on my finger as I began to get ready for the day, before
leaving the house I took the ring off and placed it on the counter. See I
realized that I was not the same person I was before the relationship and I couldn’t
go back to what I was before either. I was still me, but I had so much for
knowledge and wisdom.
On my 20th birthday I received a gift from my
momma, the same women who gifted my first promise ring. It is a ring with one
simple stone set around scrolled edges. The stone is a beautiful freshwater
pearl. (I LOVE PEARLS)…. But here is why….
I picked out this ring, I love this ring not only because it
is a pearl but because of the symbolism that it reminds me of (like my lovers
knot promise ring, and my 3 diamond engagement ring).
Matthew 13:45-46 The Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the
Pearl
“Again the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for
fine pearls, when he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything
he had and bought it.”
A pearl is made over a long period of time, one grain of
sand it added at a time and pressed and kept clean and pure until the pearl is
finished and the clam is opened to reveal its treasure.
Ladies we are the pearls, made over time with lessons
learned, and heartbreaks later. We are molded and kept until that one man comes
and opens the clam and reveals our treasure. We are a pearl of great prize. We
have worth and value beyond what we can imagine.
Men are the merchants looking for the pearls; they take
pride and joy in things they work for. When they find that one thing that is
prized greater than any other they are willing to go to whatever means
necessary to make it their own. How wonderful would a love like that be!
My prayer for each and every woman, teen, or young girl is
that they come to know their value and worth through Jesus Christ. And my
prayer for every man, teen, or young boy is that they come to have the eyes of
Christ to see these precious ladies for everything God has made them for.
So with this, I enter into a new season. Not tied down in a
promise, not in an engagement, not raw in bareness, but as a pearl of great
prize opened with a covenant.
This is me, being me for the world to see. I love to hear
what you think about my writing. Please share this blog as you never know who
it might help!
With love and joyfulness in Christ,
Simply Jordan
Simply Jordan
Jordan, you did such a good job explaining the transition that happens as life changes. I too embraced the idea of a purity ring and living my life in a pure way. I was not near as successful as I wish I would have been, but nonetheless every experience has molded me into a young woman I never thought I would be. I recently was in a relationship where we had given each other promise rings, consisting of the claddagh heart and trinity knots. Though the ring was meant to be a pre engagement, the relationship came to an end because as you said it just wasn't meant to be. I did the same as you. Put on the ring I had worn before he was a part of my life, but it just isn't the same. I am a different person now than I was then. The symbolism of the pearl has always spoken volumes to me, and now it will even more. Thank you for sharing your story, your heart, and your love. You are truly something special.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your sweet comment! I'm glad that my words can touch others lives
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