Self-Image from a Teenager

I found an old book that I had written in answering questions about myself. One of the questions asked how I viewed myself. Being the “type A” person that I am I had to break it down of course because the question was too broad. So my early teenage self answered like this,

“On a good day: pretty, leader, good size, there is someone who likes me, God loving. On a bad day: ugly, never fit in, my nose is too big, way too skinny, no one likes me, bad mood.”
Sad isn’t it… That I could think those own things about myself…

On the next questioned that I answered about where I got my self-image I answered with the “correct” answer. I said that the “good day” view was of course from God and the “bad day” view was of course from the world. Even as a 14-15 year old I had the answers. I knew my worth and my value in Christ, but that doesn’t mean that’s the forefront of my mind every moment of every day.

I'm not perfect. No one is perfect. My home church has two mottos that I absolutely love and spread every chance I get. The first is that No perfect people are allowed at church because church is not for the perfect people who have it all together and have it all figured out. Church is for the broken, the lost, the hungry, the sick, the frustrated, the haters, and the hopeless. Church is for the people. All people because we are all not perfect. The second motto is something that I have adapted into my daily thoughts. I try to start the day by saying “God I want to experience all that you have for me in this life.” I don’t want to wait around anymore for the “next event” to come into my life. I want to press play. I want to live each day and experience all that day has for me.

This is not a “you need to go to church” blog; to be honest I took a two year break from church. I don’t say that to make it OK, I simply state it. When I decided to return to church again it was for all the wrong reasons and I ended up church hopping for a while. I eventually ended up in where I feel like God has placed me and my family. I feel God working, I feel God shaking and rumbling my foundation. I am not meant to get to comfortable because comfortable people don’t move mountains.

God has a plan for my life, just like he has a plan for each and every one of his beloved children. Today. Love yourself. Today. Do something that makes you happy no matter how small.

With all my heart,
Simply Jordan

I am Free

I am free. I have been occupied lately, my mind running a million miles an hour in a million different directions. I have to remind myself to stop and breathe, or eat, or sleep, or rest. During this season in my life one word comes to mind over and over. I has presented itself in many ways, it’s all over my journal entries, it’s literally on buildings around campus, but most importantly it is written on my heart. Free. I am Free. FREE. I don’t mean cheap like a sale rack or the left over junk. I mean without bondage, without penalties, without blame, without shame, without blemish. On the bible building of my college campus the words at the top read “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you FREE!” I know the truth, I know who I am, I know that God has a plan for my life, and this sets me Free.

Tonight at an all-girls devo on campus they talked about dignity and identity in Christ. They had us take a note card and write one word that God calls us or labels us. The results were beautiful; my word was “Free” as that’s what my heart is screaming in this season. My heart is to share my story because I pray that my story points to Christ.

I don’t want to walk around with fear because fear is not of God.
I don’t want to walk around with doubt because doubt is not of God.
I don’t want to walk around with anger because anger is not of God.

There is a season for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says He has made everything BEAUTIFUL in its time.

Your life does not have to be on hold for anything, any reason, anyone. Press play on your life and live each day filled with joy and happiness because your identity is in Christ and in Him you are FREE!

With all the love,
Simply Jordan