One of THOSE classes

I am taking a class this semester called “The Family”, and initially I thought it was going to be strictly about the family structure (hence the name), but I am nicely surprised to see that it is not. I got an email before the first day of class with an assignment already, and my first thought was oh great its going to be one of THOSE classes. I completed the assignment which was reading the preface and the first 2 chapters of the textbook before class (I was not amused). I actually began to really hate the book, I felt that the language it used was very confusing and that the sentences and paragraphs went round and round in circles. I constantly found myself thinking about this course and what I was going to get out of the course and whether or not I would even like the course in the first place. Now after the first week in the class I have attended twice and am working on chapter 4 of the book, I get excited about reading each chapter and even though the language is still confusing I try and understand it and go to class with a least a few questions or thoughts over the chapters.

So here is what I am learning. The class premise is based on the fact that there are two inert concepts each human has, individuality and togetherness. How each of these are expressed and the level of each expression is based on the learned structure of the family (or family environment).

What I am most excited about after just one week is seeking to answer the question How to be an individual while in a relationship. (not just romantically, but every relationship).

After my broken engagement, I spent SO much time (since that’s all I had was time) figuring out who I am and what I like. I discovered my worth and value through the eyes of my Lord and I’ve never turned back. What I won’t say is that I always have it together, if fact in my last post I talked about the beauty I found in brokenness and turning to the Christian faith and community for support.  

In my new venture into the relationship scene I had to redefine what love looked like both giving and receiving. I read another article that talks about how the best answers as to why you love someone is because you “just do”, that’s the magic and the beauty behind unconditional love. In this new season I (we) make it an important effort to seek the Lord’s will and blessing over our lives both as individuals and as a couple. We understand that we are human and that we will fail each other, but we love and follow a God who is perfect in every way and He will never fail us.

I love spending quiet time with the Lord or seeing His work around me. There is a certain joy that is totally indescribable, but totally worth discovering.

I pray over each and every one of your lives. As my prayer life becomes more and more a part of my core being, I yearn for the things of my God to become things of the world. Blessings, Peace, and Joy of the Lord are my prayers daily.

Day by day, moment by moment

-Simply Jordan  

Delay in Obedience is Disobedience

One of the most attractive things I find about people is when they are totally honest. I may not always like what they say, but I have an incredible respect for their honestly. Even more so, I love to see people be honest about brokenness. To see someone share about a struggle or just admit that, "no, today is rough" is, I think, something that takes more courage than “keeping it all together”.

I have failed at this in the last week. A few of my close family and friends knew that I was having rough days, but I always tried to sugar coat it, make it seem like I really did have it all together. In reality I was experiencing one of the darkest weeks I had ever experienced spiritually in my life. My life on the outside was going great, my friends and family were near me and we were celebrating my 21st bithday, I even got to see Clay Walker live in concert. All these things were great joy-filled time, but it was fleeting, and in these moments I realized how only a joy from the Lord can last when the "fun" times end. On the inside I had anxiety and worry that was eating me alive.

Over the last year, I let myself go and experience what God had for me in this life, it was a total attitude change from my life planning of 5, 10 and 15 years that I had always done. However someone told me once that the quickest way to make God laugh is to make your own plans, and I found that more true over the past year, especially this past week. This last year was amazing, I was truly happy, joyful, and looked to share the source of that joy with everyone.

Then something changed. I began to plan again.Not just what I was doing tomorrow, but for the next 5, 10, 15 years. As I was talking with my mom we talked about that the planning and preparing are not the issue, it’s the fear, anxiety, and anxiousness that something other than your plan might work.

Last semester God called me to get involved as a youth leader in my church, I was so excited to get to pour into young teenage lives just like the amazing women in my life did for me. I believe that I have a calling to minister to high school and middle school girls. I give a lot of this credit to my amazing experience in church youth group during my grade school years.

As this semester has moved closer and closer and I was supposed to go talk to the youth leader at my church, I bailed, not once, not twice, but three weeks in a row I made eye contact and diverted away from the situation. I blamed it on nervousness, then I blamed it on being busy and that I would not have the time needed to commit to serving these girls.

Let me tell you when God speaks to you and tells you to move in a certain direction then other direction will make you sick. I fell into a funk, I had anxiety over my future, I had anxiety over what I was eating or not eating to be exact, I wanted to sleep all the time because that was easier than worrying about everything.

Last night I attended my church’s Tuesday night corporate prayer gathering. If you are not praying corporately with a group of people, I suggest you do, it is one of the most powerful experiences I have and it happens week after week. I never leave Tuesday night prayer without something or someone being laid on my heart.

In this particular week, they asked people to stand for certain prayer needs and I knew I was struggling but I was not going to admit brokenness, so after the first group kind of matched my situation I made a bet with God (smart right?) that if the prayer leader mentioned this ONE word then I knew I would need to stand. After the second, third, and fourth groups were called I was sure I was in the clear because that word was never spoken… then… he says one more group of people that need help with OBEDIENCE, I was sick. That was the word. I had to stand up, but instead of the anxiety I had felt over the past week I felt a rush of peace run over me, the peace I had been praying for.

You are never too busy for God’s plan, and if you REALLY are, God will remove the distractions because God’s will always works out. Don’t let work, or a relationship, or school, or the idea of a lack of free time take you away from doing something God called you to do.

I would encourage you to pray for your next step whether it’s committing your life to Christ, going public with your faith through baptism, finding a home church, or getting involved. Whatever your next step God will lead you in the right direction and the peace that comes with following God’s will is indescribable.

The most profound thing I was reminded of just last night is that God shines brightest in your weaknesses. Jesus came to save the broken and the hurting. It’s ok to not be ok because the God of creation loves you unconditionally.

This is my story and it’s just getting started!

-Simply Jordan

The 20th Year

It’s amazing to see growth over 12 months. I started this list last year shortly after my birthday and finished it up today the last day of my 20^th year. So this is a mostly complete, mostly in order list of things I did or accomplished in my 20^th year:

Moved into my own apartment
Went to the lake for the first time
Rode a “lake boat”
Moved out of my house officially
Rode a “lake raft”
Rode a “lake disco” AND stood up
Opened up my first Roth IRA
Traveled on an all-girls trip
Smashed watermelons
Had a surprise birthday party
Had my hair put into cornrow and mini braids
Worn two different tutus in two  consecutive days
Dressed up like Jane from Tarzan
Kissed a man I was not dating
Went country dancing every week for 9 weeks without missing
Decorated my own apartment for Christmas
Studied for a test and made an A
Traveled out of the country alone
Rode a mechanical bull
Spent all day watching Netflix
Traveled to a new state (Washington)
Applied to an international internship
Applied and accepted an internship to a summer camp
Ran a 10k (6.2 miles) in 1:21:23
Presented my research at a national conference (NCUR)
Added a business minor to my degree plan
Ran a 5K (3.1 miles) in 29:32
Moved into a second apartment
Added a second roommate
Said yes to dating another man
Fell in love
Threw eggs out of a car into a field
Shot off new guns
Played in the snow
Played in the rain
Drove a 4-wheeler
Attended rodeos
Rode in a truck in pulling cattle in a trailer
Went “home” with my boyfriend to meet his family
Rode in a ’67 Camaro
Watched a classic car show
Started my business with my dad
Signed up to take the GRE

 Today on the 12^th of August I am spending my last day as a 20 year old. I am wrapping up #jordantakes20 and starting a new adventure. A year ago I had no idea I would be doing what I am doing, but I love every minute of it. God has orchestrated himself in my life and revealed so much to me. I have grown more spiritually and emotionally this year than my 19 years before that and for that I am so thankful.

                As I turn 21 tomorrow I am excited, mostly anxious to see what amazing things are going to come of this next step. I start my final year of college and will be applying to graduate school, a dream I gave up a couple years ago. I can’t tell you where I’ll be in a year, or even 6 months. I know that if I had tried to pin this year down I would have been so off and that makes me happier than anything else.

                To God, my Lord and Savior, it goes without saying I would not be remotely close to the Christian women I am without my faith in the Lord. I spent more soul searching, faith building, and spiritual growing in this year that most of the years before. Thank you for never failing and never giving up on me.

                To Mom and Dad, thank you for your unwavering and unconditionally support. I know now what they mean when they talk about one day you wake up and realize how amazing your parents are, and that moment happened this year. There aren’t enough words or time to describe what you mean to me, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to show you.

                To my family, each one of you have made an important impact on my life especially in the past year. You have helped form me into the woman that I am becoming and for that I thank you.

                To Zachary, I love you. You walked into my life ½ way through my 20^th year and I was defiantly not interested in allowing another man to wreck shop on my life, but you were patient, and you were unconditionally loving. You waited for me to fall and man did I fall. You fixed my broken heart and my broken perception of love. You taught me how to love again. Thank you.

                To Nella, you are my person. You were there through it all. All the late night talks, and the laughs and the tears. We grew a lot this past year and I’m excited to see where we go this semester. Thank you for being my best friend.

With that,
Simply Jordan
 #jordantakes21?