Wait

“Wait, wait patiently, wait.” –God

I have had the Lord speak audibly to me; I have literally been pushed to my knees where I felt His arms wrap around me comforting me without words. This time was different. This time something clicked. On March 30, 2011 God told me to wait. I wait for an unknown answer for an unknown length of time. He placed the verse Psalms 40:1 on my heart after speaking the phase above in an almost audible voice. I had read it before but only in passing. I had never studied it or made notes in the margins of the page. I opened my Bible and turned to the verse. It reads “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.”

I have been told to wait. I say that I don’t know the answer, but I know the context. Relationships. God was/is maturing my heart, making me into the women of God that my husband is to marry; however, I have been resistant. I want it to be a quick process. I want to think I am ready. I know what I want in life and I know that God has placed a passion with goals for me to achieve and I will stop at nothing to achieve them. Nevertheless, He continues on.

I am strong. I am determined. I am a child of God.

I usually have advice at the end of a post. I usually have and answer to my situation at the end. This time is different. This time I am at a loss for a conclusion. I am as I was on March 30^th. Lost and confused only knowing that somewhere out there God has a divine plan for my life and I have to take it one day at a time to find it.

Day by Day. Moment by Moment. I am confident. I am here. I am the Daughter of the King of Kings.

-Jo

21 Days

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit… good habits or bad habits. That’s 21 WHOLE DAYS! If you start from the day this is posted its January 10th, 2013. 3 weeks. 21 days. 504 hours. 30,240 minutes. 181,440 seconds.

Today I start my journey like a lot of you I hope. (Each to your own habits of course) In a way it’s an early “New Year’s Resolution” but who follows those anyway! This is for me. I want to do this for myself not for someone else. Not to be something for someone else or to please others by actions. You need to be you for you. Be who you for who you are because you will stink at being someone else.

So here it is (the meat and potatoes as my dad says)….

1)      No more cokes! I have been addicted for quite a while now. I have AT LEAST one a day, more like 3 to 4 on average. Once I even drank over 96ozs in one 6 hour shift at work. I start at when I wake up and don’t stop till I fall asleep at night. It’s not healthy and it stops now!

2)      Quiet time with God! In this busy world I regret to inform you all that I have slacked more than a little on my quiet time. I actually had to think about the last time I opened my Bible outside of church. I am not perfect by a means but this is my own fault. It’s healthy and it begins now!

3)      School! This last semester was tough. It was my first semester in college. I had fun. I studied…less than I should have and my grades reflected the effort. I am a smart student, but that doesn’t mean in college grades are handed to you. I know I can’t currently work on my grades, but I can plan better for the semester and go in more prepared. It’s for my future and it begins…January 7^th.J

This my 21 day challenge to myself. The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself.

Here is God’s promise to help you on your challenge: 1 Peter 4:19 “So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is RIGHT, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.

Your body is a temple of Christ. If you wouldn’t do it with God present then you shouldn’t do it…But guess what…He is ALWAYS present.

God Bless and until next time,
Jo

Wanted

Writers block is real. I am not a fan; however, I have been cured.

First off I would like to respond to the overwhelming support from my previous post “The Promise”. I am so very thankful for all the support the readers have shown me. I was getting text messages from friends in the middle of the night saying it left them speechless, as well as friends and family telling me I brought them to tears. Again I would just like to say thank you for following me and reading my adventures in the blogging world.

 

Songs are a way to connect feelings to words. Sometimes it comes though the lyrics, sometimes it comes through the music, and sometimes it’s in all ways at once. It pulls on your heart strings and brings you to tear, or it makes you so angry you can punch a wall.

This particular song is from both my God, and my future husband (FH). “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes

“I don’t know how you do what you do”
I am a busy person; anyone who knows me, knows I do a million things at once. I love to be busy, I am a full time college student taking 18 hours next semester, I work 4 jobs, and make time for friends and family. I conduct undergraduate research as I am a dual biology, chemistry major. I also maintain a high GPA.
God: “Sometimes you need to be the Mary and not the Martha. Take time to spend with Me every day, don’t just work all the time.”

“So put aside the math and the logic of it”
I am a very analytical person. I think about literally everything. It took me several days to write this post correctly. I run conversations of every possibility or circumstance over and over in my head so I am prepared for whatever is thrown at me.
God: “You need to take time to listen to Me, invest in my Greater Plan, step out in Faith knowing that I will provide for your EVERY NEED.
FH: “Don’t ruin my surprises for you by overthinking.”

“You gotta know your wanted too
I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips”
Knowing me means that you know my story (or read “The Promise”)
God: “Let me hold on to your “firsts”. Let me protect you my precious. Let me leave you whole and pure because this man after my own heart over here, I am protecting him too. One day I can’t wait for you to meet him.” “There is a time for everything, and a season for every action under heaven” Ecc. 3:1
FH: “Thank you for waiting, I know it wasn’t easy. I am glad we waited together, even if we were apart.”

“I wanna make you feel wanted
I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted”
I get lonely, some days more than others. I feel unwanted, left out, and abandoned. Sometimes I think God has forgotten about me, that he isn’t going to be faithful in His promises to me.
God: “Jordan, you are beautiful. You are a child of mine, made perfect in My image. Let Me make you feel wanted. Let Me be your everything until I show you the man I want to protect you.”

“Anyone can tell you you're pretty
And you get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the makeup”
In high school and into college, I never put a lot of emphasis into how I looked. I never wore a lot of makeup and I wasn’t afraid to wear sweats and a t-shirt to school. My beauty comes from within. Every day I strive to be a Proverbs 31 women of God.
God: Proverbs 31:31 “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” “You are doing right my child, one day a man will see with My eyes. He will look at you the way I see you.”

“And I wanna show you what I see tonight”
Letting go is always hard but the reward is so much bigger and better than you can imagine.
God: “Let Me be your everything. Let me show you My love. My love that is deeper than the oceans, wider than the rivers, and higher than the mountains. I want to show you, just let me.”

“Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted
'Cause you'll always be wanted”
God: I will never leave you nor forsake you. You (Godly) Marriage will be as My Son loved the Church, he (my husband) will never leave you nor forsake you. He will make you feel wanted as I have made you feel wanted.

The Promise

Eveytime I think about my blog I can come up with a million things to write about, but when I open the page I draw a blank.

I have chosen to blog about my Promise because it is a big part of my life.
So the Promise is something I started in high school. My 9th grade year I met Chad and April Word. They were the new youth pastors at my, then home church. I never knew that someone could influence my life as much as April and the staff of women in that youth influenced me.

They spoke of having greater value in yourslef. They talked about viewing yourself and others through God's eyes. They taught the girls about their worth and value and how we are a prized jewel in God's eyes. We went though a series called secret keepers It was all about keeping yourself pure and waiting on God and his plan in every part of your life. After completeing the series I made a promise with God, along with alot of other girls. My promise was to not date while in high school so as to preserve my heart. During this time I was to draw near to God and make a solid foundation onto which a Godly relationship could be built.

Freshman year was easy. It was when it all began, but I also didn't have a whole lot of "dating" options. I didn't see myself as dateable... I was ugly and unwanted. I was the guys best friend, not their girldfriend. My promise became a cover as to why I didn't have a boyfriend. It wasn't becasue no one wanted to date me, it was because of the promise...or at least thats what I told myself

Sophomore and Junior year was not much different except for my self image drastically improved. As I grew closer to God I began to see myself though His eyes. I say that I was a Daughter of the King of Kings. I saw that I was a valued jewel in His eyes and I saw that ONE DAY he would give His eyes to a man who saw me the way He saw me. My view of the promise began to change.

Senior year was the best. I met Keela and Kelsey. Mikala had always been apart of my life but this year was the year the four of us bonded and became inceperable. They showed me the best kind of friendships and even though they are girls they helped me so much in the true meaning of my promise. I was saving myself for a Godly relationship where I can be wholy his, not used or damaged in anyway.
Another thing happened in my senior year. I met a wonderful man who showed me so much of God it is almost unreal. I met him in November, but the promise didn't end until May...problem? NO.. He waited! He never pushed me for more. He was always there for me and made me feel so special. He praised me for waiting and encouraged me to finish my promise no matter what. Although it didn't work out between us, I still count it as a blessed time in my life.

Most of my family and friends know about the above events, but only some of you know that upon completeing my promise I became angry with God. I was CONVINCED He was going to drop this AMAZING man into my life and we would date right away. When He didn't I thought I had to wait until school started in the fall....still nothing...

Needless to say I was very disappointed and so much in fact I became bitter and my anger was pointed at God because He didn't give me what I wanted. After my anger was too much to handle I broke down. I realized that MY time was not GOD'S time. I realized I had been foolish and that I had not fully given over my "relationships" to God. I gave up. I let Him have it because it was too much for me to handle.

I know ONE DAY God will send that amazing man into my life. I know that I will have a dating...engagement...and Godly marriage. I know ONE DAY I will have a family. One day is just not today.

To all the women that were, are, and will be in my life: Thank you for your unending support, Thank you for guiding me and leading my in the best ways possible for my life. Thank you for being great friends.

To all the girls who may read this: Know that you are a precious child of GOD. Know that you are perfect in His eyes and one day a man will walk into your life with the eyes of God seeing you as God sees you. Don't be afraid to let go and give 100% of your life to God. Strive to be a Proverbs 31 women of God.

To all the men who were, are, and will be in my life: Thank you for being there and showing me what a Godly example of a man is suppose to be. Thank you for treating the women in your life as Jesus treats His Church.

To all the boys who may read this: Take note of who you are in Christ. Take note of the way Christ treats His Bride, the Church. Treat women with respect and love as God loves. Don't be afraid to let go and give God 100% of your life.

Thank you for reading and letting me share my life and my struggles and sucesses with you,
Jordan