The Pearl of Great Prize

The first dating season in my life was when I entered a promise (read “The Promise” below) when I was beginning high school after going through dating and relationship classes at church. I knew without a doubt that I wanted to save myself for one man. I took it to the extreme and even saved my first kiss for the special someone who would change my world. I wore a ring to symbolize my promise, it was in the shape of a “lovers knot” or “square knot”. It is two separate loops tied together in a form that if either side is pulled the knot will only get tighter. Like my promise if I was ever “tempted” or felt like I couldn’t continue the “knot” or “promise” would only get tighter.

Then everything changed when I met “The One” he asked a question and I took off my Promise Ring and entered an Engagement season. There were three diamonds, one for me, one for him, and one for God in the middle. Although I didn’t pick out my engagement ring my, then, fiancé knew I would love it and he told me the symbolism in it. The engagement didn’t last because it simply wasn’t meant to be as cliché as that sounds (read “Unconditional Love” below). So I took off my engagement ring and entered a season of bareness. I was raw and bare for the world and before my God.

For close to a month I wore no jewelry, ESPECIALLY no ring. And let’s be clear I had worn a ring on my left ring finger for 8 years. This was an important season for me and my process of healing over the broken engagement, and finding me in this life again. I had to find my identity in myself and in God. I had lots of question: How do I wear my hair? What about makeup? Did I used to do this before him? What do I wear? Did I do this for me, or for him? Who am I? What am I supposed to do now? You don’t realize how much your life begins to form around and for someone else until one day when you wake up and they are no longer there.

After the breakup I went home and my mother had set out my promise ring, the same ring I had worn for so long. It was so innocent and so full of hopes and dreams and promises that are no longer relevant for my life after the breakup. I placed the ring on my finger as I began to get ready for the day, before leaving the house I took the ring off and placed it on the counter. See I realized that I was not the same person I was before the relationship and I couldn’t go back to what I was before either. I was still me, but I had so much for knowledge and wisdom.

On my 20^th birthday I received a gift from my momma, the same women who gifted my first promise ring. It is a ring with one simple stone set around scrolled edges. The stone is a beautiful freshwater pearl. (I LOVE PEARLS)…. But here is why….

I picked out this ring, I love this ring not only because it is a pearl but because of the symbolism that it reminds me of (like my lovers knot promise ring, and my 3 diamond engagement ring).

Matthew 13:45-46 The Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl

“Again the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls, when he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

A pearl is made over a long period of time, one grain of sand it added at a time and pressed and kept clean and pure until the pearl is finished and the clam is opened to reveal its treasure.

Ladies we are the pearls, made over time with lessons learned, and heartbreaks later. We are molded and kept until that one man comes and opens the clam and reveals our treasure. We are a pearl of great prize. We have worth and value beyond what we can imagine.

Men are the merchants looking for the pearls; they take pride and joy in things they work for. When they find that one thing that is prized greater than any other they are willing to go to whatever means necessary to make it their own. How wonderful would a love like that be!

My prayer for each and every woman, teen, or young girl is that they come to know their value and worth through Jesus Christ. And my prayer for every man, teen, or young boy is that they come to have the eyes of Christ to see these precious ladies for everything God has made them for.

So with this, I enter into a new season. Not tied down in a promise, not in an engagement, not raw in bareness, but as a pearl of great prize opened with a covenant.

This is me, being me for the world to see. I love to hear what you think about my writing. Please share this blog as you never know who it might help!

With love and joyfulness in Christ,
Simply Jordan

 

Unconditional Love

He was everything I had hoped, dreamed, and prayed for in the beginning. He was the kind of man my parents could be proud of; he was the man who would treat me right and love me for me. He taught me how to love myself and see myself as valued and beautiful. He showed me that a man here on this Earth that wasn’t my own dad could love me. He taught me how to love, and oh man did I love. I loved with my whole heart, my whole soul, and whole mind. I loved so deep and so wide. I loved unconditionally. I woke up every day falling more in love with this man, this precious man who loved me back. I was so blessed. I knew I had found the ONE.

I was planning my own perfect wedding, to my own perfect fiancé. I thought that what I was doing was God’s plan for my life. Let’s be honest here every little girl dreams of that perfect knight and shining armor to sweep her off her feet and fall madly, deeply, and unconditionally in love with her. She dreams of a beautiful proposal, a beautiful ring, and a beautiful family to be marrying into. She dreams of him asking her daddy permission and everyone beaming with joy. She dreams of planning and picking things out and shopping and asking bridesmaids to be bridesmaids and everything else involved in that special day.

I was there. I was in the midst of planning what seemed to be my storybook fairytale. Now I’m here on the other side of a broken engagement. See that one word, unconditional, changed everything. Sure he loved me, and a part of me knows in some ways he always will, just like I always will. He did great things for me, we had a great time together, and I was ready to sign my life away to him. To be his Bride was going to make me the happiest girl in the world. One day he realized that his love for me wasn’t meant for the commitment we were going to enter into. He realized he lacked a marriage, lifetime, and unconditional kind of love for me.

So that leaves me, just me, Jordan, being me for the world to see. I love writing, and since the split I have found it to be a passion again. I have a folder in my “cloud” that I write my feeling and thoughts in. You see I know that ONE day that man will chase after my own heart. ONE day a man will see me through God’s eyes and have the kind of love that is meant to last a lifetime, and marriage, a kind of love that IS unconditional. ONE day I will have another Godly dating experience, ONE day I will be asked to marry another man, ONE day I will enter into a Godly covenant with a man that is all the things that a husband my God designed. ONE day is just not today.

God’s love is unconditional. That means no matter what we do, no matter what we say God LOVES US. With all that God is, for He is the same today, tomorrow, and forever. I mean He is God of course. I find it no coincidence that God calls the church, and all its members meaning all believers, His BRIDE. And one day there will be a beautiful wedding between the Groom and His Bride. Here on Earth you see God gives us an imperfect example of His perfect love. Marriage between a man and a woman. In perfect unity, brought together in God’s perfect timing. ONE day is just not today.

-Jordan

Song of Solomon: New perspective

In a devotional I was in recently we discussed the topic of sisterhood in Christ. I talked about some simple surface stuff about loving and trusting and investing before I was convicted of my own misunderstanding of God role of “sisters” in Christ filling a role of friends. In the book Song of Solomon from the Old Testament Bible we get to see Gods intent for a dating, courtship and marriage relationship. I still remember when my youth pastor got up in front of a room full of junior high and high school kids and said “Did you know there is a whole book in the bible devoted to dating and marriage and sex!”  I remember the moment ever mouth got quiet and every ear was opened. She began to talk about the story in Song of Solomon. The way the Lover dated and courted and eventually married his Beloved. We broke down every verse and what it meant and why it was in the Bible. It was always my favorite book because and earthly man had the eyes of God to see his Beloved the way God saw her. He called her beautiful and precious. I wanted that.

When I was talking to these girls in this devo, I flipped my Bible open looking for a passage in Ephesians when it opened to song of Solomon I saw a new heading that I had never paid attention to. “Friends”… I thought “Friends”, why are “Friends” mentioned in the most romantic book in the Bible? BOOM (for those of you who like sound effects) I realized just then what it meant. Call it a Bible slap if you want.

Friends are the family you choose. They are special people you allow in your life to be there for everything. It is so important to have and to nurture those relationships, EVEN when you are in a serious romantic relationship with someone. My boyfriend and I learn from each other every day. We have new experiences and new learning opportunities as individuals and as a couple. God is guiding us and we have to be open to letting him lead.

In Christ and His love,

Jo

Life Proceeds

Whoa! It’s been awhile. A lot has happened so let’s fill you in. First off I am in my second semester as a college student with my official roommate (Kate) and honorary roommate (Darla). I am officially a sophomore and declared double major (Biology and Chemistry). Calculus, Chemistry II and Biology II are my main priorities this semester. (I know I’m insane!!!) I have a total of 17 hours this semester as well as I am a new member of Zeta Gamma.     

Enough about school...

Over the break I got a twitter!! So follow me @JoPutman for awesomely amazing facts and truths about life….and whatever randomness I tweet about.

So after dislocating my shoulder right after school started, I was getting pretty down. I was in a sling for 3 days and it was a humbling experience. I also began to feel helpless and a burden on people. I inconvenienced people to say the least. I had to help with EVERYTHING. I couldn’t zip my jacket or open doors if I was carrying something. I couldn’t get dressed alone nor do my own hair. I am slowly healing but major adjustments are soon to come I think. Although I was feeling really low God moved in me.

Walking down the dorm hallway I heard someone playing music. Usually it would bother me that people were playing music loud enough to hear down the hall, but I got closer I began to hear the words of “Beautiful” by Mercy Me. This is one of my all-time favorite songs. I have not heard this song in a long time; however, I know the words by heart.

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
Praying that you'd have the heart to fight'
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
They are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL
YOU ARE TREASURED, YOU ARE SACRED, YOU ARE (HIS) MINE!

No matter what going on in life. No matter what you feel inside. No matter what you show to other.
God is bigger. God is faithful.

The bolded lyrics are my reminders. They are the lines God points out and say “Hey that’s for you!” God is bigger than death. God is bigger than a dislocated shoulder. God is bigger than disappointme

Wait

“Wait, wait patiently, wait.” –God

I have had the Lord speak audibly to me; I have literally been pushed to my knees where I felt His arms wrap around me comforting me without words. This time was different. This time something clicked. On March 30, 2011 God told me to wait. I wait for an unknown answer for an unknown length of time. He placed the verse Psalms 40:1 on my heart after speaking the phase above in an almost audible voice. I had read it before but only in passing. I had never studied it or made notes in the margins of the page. I opened my Bible and turned to the verse. It reads “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.”

I have been told to wait. I say that I don’t know the answer, but I know the context. Relationships. God was/is maturing my heart, making me into the women of God that my husband is to marry; however, I have been resistant. I want it to be a quick process. I want to think I am ready. I know what I want in life and I know that God has placed a passion with goals for me to achieve and I will stop at nothing to achieve them. Nevertheless, He continues on.

I am strong. I am determined. I am a child of God.

I usually have advice at the end of a post. I usually have and answer to my situation at the end. This time is different. This time I am at a loss for a conclusion. I am as I was on March 30^th. Lost and confused only knowing that somewhere out there God has a divine plan for my life and I have to take it one day at a time to find it.

Day by Day. Moment by Moment. I am confident. I am here. I am the Daughter of the King of Kings.

-Jo

21 Days

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit… good habits or bad habits. That’s 21 WHOLE DAYS! If you start from the day this is posted its January 10th, 2013. 3 weeks. 21 days. 504 hours. 30,240 minutes. 181,440 seconds.

Today I start my journey like a lot of you I hope. (Each to your own habits of course) In a way it’s an early “New Year’s Resolution” but who follows those anyway! This is for me. I want to do this for myself not for someone else. Not to be something for someone else or to please others by actions. You need to be you for you. Be who you for who you are because you will stink at being someone else.

So here it is (the meat and potatoes as my dad says)….

1)      No more cokes! I have been addicted for quite a while now. I have AT LEAST one a day, more like 3 to 4 on average. Once I even drank over 96ozs in one 6 hour shift at work. I start at when I wake up and don’t stop till I fall asleep at night. It’s not healthy and it stops now!

2)      Quiet time with God! In this busy world I regret to inform you all that I have slacked more than a little on my quiet time. I actually had to think about the last time I opened my Bible outside of church. I am not perfect by a means but this is my own fault. It’s healthy and it begins now!

3)      School! This last semester was tough. It was my first semester in college. I had fun. I studied…less than I should have and my grades reflected the effort. I am a smart student, but that doesn’t mean in college grades are handed to you. I know I can’t currently work on my grades, but I can plan better for the semester and go in more prepared. It’s for my future and it begins…January 7^th.J

This my 21 day challenge to myself. The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself.

Here is God’s promise to help you on your challenge: 1 Peter 4:19 “So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is RIGHT, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.

Your body is a temple of Christ. If you wouldn’t do it with God present then you shouldn’t do it…But guess what…He is ALWAYS present.

God Bless and until next time,
Jo

Wanted

Writers block is real. I am not a fan; however, I have been cured.

First off I would like to respond to the overwhelming support from my previous post “The Promise”. I am so very thankful for all the support the readers have shown me. I was getting text messages from friends in the middle of the night saying it left them speechless, as well as friends and family telling me I brought them to tears. Again I would just like to say thank you for following me and reading my adventures in the blogging world.

 

Songs are a way to connect feelings to words. Sometimes it comes though the lyrics, sometimes it comes through the music, and sometimes it’s in all ways at once. It pulls on your heart strings and brings you to tear, or it makes you so angry you can punch a wall.

This particular song is from both my God, and my future husband (FH). “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes

“I don’t know how you do what you do”
I am a busy person; anyone who knows me, knows I do a million things at once. I love to be busy, I am a full time college student taking 18 hours next semester, I work 4 jobs, and make time for friends and family. I conduct undergraduate research as I am a dual biology, chemistry major. I also maintain a high GPA.
God: “Sometimes you need to be the Mary and not the Martha. Take time to spend with Me every day, don’t just work all the time.”

“So put aside the math and the logic of it”
I am a very analytical person. I think about literally everything. It took me several days to write this post correctly. I run conversations of every possibility or circumstance over and over in my head so I am prepared for whatever is thrown at me.
God: “You need to take time to listen to Me, invest in my Greater Plan, step out in Faith knowing that I will provide for your EVERY NEED.
FH: “Don’t ruin my surprises for you by overthinking.”

“You gotta know your wanted too
I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips”
Knowing me means that you know my story (or read “The Promise”)
God: “Let me hold on to your “firsts”. Let me protect you my precious. Let me leave you whole and pure because this man after my own heart over here, I am protecting him too. One day I can’t wait for you to meet him.” “There is a time for everything, and a season for every action under heaven” Ecc. 3:1
FH: “Thank you for waiting, I know it wasn’t easy. I am glad we waited together, even if we were apart.”

“I wanna make you feel wanted
I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted”
I get lonely, some days more than others. I feel unwanted, left out, and abandoned. Sometimes I think God has forgotten about me, that he isn’t going to be faithful in His promises to me.
God: “Jordan, you are beautiful. You are a child of mine, made perfect in My image. Let Me make you feel wanted. Let Me be your everything until I show you the man I want to protect you.”

“Anyone can tell you you're pretty
And you get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the makeup”
In high school and into college, I never put a lot of emphasis into how I looked. I never wore a lot of makeup and I wasn’t afraid to wear sweats and a t-shirt to school. My beauty comes from within. Every day I strive to be a Proverbs 31 women of God.
God: Proverbs 31:31 “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” “You are doing right my child, one day a man will see with My eyes. He will look at you the way I see you.”

“And I wanna show you what I see tonight”
Letting go is always hard but the reward is so much bigger and better than you can imagine.
God: “Let Me be your everything. Let me show you My love. My love that is deeper than the oceans, wider than the rivers, and higher than the mountains. I want to show you, just let me.”

“Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted
'Cause you'll always be wanted”
God: I will never leave you nor forsake you. You (Godly) Marriage will be as My Son loved the Church, he (my husband) will never leave you nor forsake you. He will make you feel wanted as I have made you feel wanted.